This is the one thing I hear about time and time again during discovery calls: failed attempts at sleep training.
"I couldn't even be in the house."
"My heart hurt so much."
"I never want to do that again."
"We had her sleeping thanks to _____ program/sleep consultant, but it's all changed and I don't know why or how to help now."
Why these sentiments? Because traditional 'sleep training' does not necessarily address the emotional needs of the whole family, nor does it include the observation and reflection required to modify your parenting to support children as they mature.
Encouraging sleep can be achieved by using parenting practices that fit your child and your family vision (if you don't have one... our Parenting for Sleep program helps you develop one).
I implore you, do not follow sleep advice that makes you:
cringe or fear what you are told to do
feel that you "just need to make it through"
entertain that you are a shitty parent (because you are NOT a shitty parent - I already know that)
Instead, I challenge parents to be unwavering and proud in how they want to feel as a parent. The stand you take for yourself and your family is the bedrock for inviting soothing sleep to your family.
We have coached parent after parent on how to use their family's emotional connection as a method to help their child sleep. This is the only way to genuinely and empathetically address your child's ever-evolving sleep needs.
Are you ready to grow alongside your child? Schedule a discovery call for us to connect.
I see the convenience of hiring a traditional sleep consultant: hey, I used to be one. Being given exact steps to achieve sleep quickly is much easier than being coached through understanding yourself and your child. Some sleep consultants guarantee that your child will sleep through the night in X days or less - the appeal of convenience and short-term investment is enticing.
But at what expense do we pursue this quick-fix? Consider some of these hidden costs:
your intuition Likely, NOBODY knows your child better than YOU. Slowly but surely, your confidence takes a hit every time you follow step-by-step instructions while ignoring or without consulting your intuition.
your child's understanding of self Children exhibit behaviors for a reason! Moving forward with a prescribed step-by-step plan also encourages them to ignore their developing intuition.
consistent messages Why would you parent one way during the day, then adopt a different approach at bedtime? It makes no sense to stray, in any way, from who YOU ARE as a parent. Why put yourself in this position? Why confuse your child?
your family connection Your child works daily to connect with YOU. If there is disharmony in your parenting practices, your family connection weakens. It takes commitment - day and night - to recognize and meet your child's bids for connection (see Dr. John Gottman's work for more on bids, and 'turning toward your children').
over-reliance If you are not addressing the root cause of many behavioral sleep issues (family connection through parenting!), you'll always need to purchase "the next step" or rehire a consultant because you can no longer follow the same plan, and you no longer trust your instincts (see above!).
Our generation of parents:
seeks long-lasting connection with their children
offers unwavering love, day and night
encourages children to nurture and trust their intuition
and - most of all - wants an incredibly grounded family life that makes our hearts flutter with pride when we think of our family. We are excited to go home every day.
Traditional sleep consulting can undermine the exact wants we have for us and our children, so why do it? Our Parenting for Sleep program coaches you to develop supportive parenting practices that match your family vision, nourish emotional connection with your child, and help your child - and you - sleep.
If your family life is compromised in any of the areas above (your intuition, your child's understanding of self, consistent messages, family connection, or over-reliance), you may need to evaluate how you encourage sleep your house. The cost is too high to ignore.